What If Your Happy Place Is Inside You?

Your happy place isn’t somewhere else. Your happy place is inside you. Unfortunately, the world so often pulls us outside of ourselves that we think we need to go somewhere or get something to be happy. But true happiness comes from within. 

 In contrast, all of the stuff outside can be really disorienting. Times are tough. The world is challenging these days. We worry about the news, what others think, about whether our outfit looks ok, whether we’re doing what we “should”, or what is expected of us. The news and social media can make us think that we need to look a certain way, buy something, or be a certain kind of person. It can push us to do something that we don’t really want to do. But we need to be careful because all of this outside information can take us away from ourselves and our inner knowing and inner joy that can sustain us in challenging times.  If something feels uncomfortable, it might be because our gut is telling us that something isn’t right. At the very least we can drop into ourselves in the present moment, and check inside to counterbalance and listen within when we see or hear something to make sure it feels right and aligns with who we truly are. It’s something anyone can do, it's just that no one taught us how to do it.

 Our happy place isn't really a place. It's a feeling. There are even methods out there that use a memory of a place, like the beach or a field of flowers, to get us in touch with a memory of a feeling. In my courses I call it a “feeling memory”, because it's about the actual feeling rather than a location or idea. And most importantly, it's not about thinking. How do you feel when you’re in nature, or near the ocean, watching a sunset? It feels good, right? Somehow those senses, that feeling seeps into us. We breathe it in. It feels good to be close to something so beautiful. It makes us feel humble, awestruck, grateful for something so incredible. It can put us in our place, a good place. It can center us, remind us that we are human. It can remind us to feel. To sense…To Be. 

 This is our happy place and really, it can happen in any place. The more we practice getting in touch with it the more we can bring it with us wherever we go and tap into it whenever we need to. The important thing to remember is that it isn’t something that we’re going to get from someone or some “thing”. It's inside. It's the missing piece. It's the peace within ourselves that when we make contact with it, sets us free from so many things that can make us unhappy, make us think we aren’t good enough, or make us feel like something is missing. How can this be? It's because happiness isn’t something that comes from outside. True happiness is contentment, fulfillment, appreciation for the simple things. True happiness is simple. It’s beingness.  A new car, outfit, Netflix series, or social media post isn’t going to get us there. We have to find it within ourselves. It can take a bit of practice to find it but it's closer and easier than you might think. It's our inner wisdom. Inner Peace. Our connection to spirit, our sense of self. 

 Sometimes we aren't sure who we truly are. Our culture and civilization has advanced itself out of our humanness. Now more than ever, artificial intelligence is taking us away from our true intelligence. We have to make sure we as human beings can be “real” so that we’re the ones in the driver’s seat. We need to reclaim our human capacity for basic decency, consciousness, and listening to our inner knowing.  We’re master thinkers but crappy “feelers”. And if we do feel something, it's usually something that doesn't feel good. We humans tend to be really good at paying attention to things that don't feel good. It’s an instinctual mechanism that is protective in many ways, think taking your hand off of something hot, not walking on a broken leg, avoiding someone who is mean. Some of these situations are absolutely necessary and life saving, while on the other hand when we perseverate on a negative feeling, it's like enabling a child that is acting out to get attention and it just makes things worse. 

 In these cases it can be so easy to pay attention to the “not nice” stuff. Somehow we’ve learned or perhaps better said would be “unlearned” how to pay attention to the good stuff. It's a habit or pattern that has happened over time. We forget to tune in and enjoy how our body feels when we're relaxed. We tend to quickly let go of something that makes us feel good and start thinking about what we need to do or checking to see if something terrible happened in the news, or even perseverating on something that someone else did or said that we didn't like. Or if someone pulls out in front of us on the way to work and we let it ruin our entire day.

 But what if we could bring the warmth of a hug with us as we go through our day, or keep the peaceful feeling of a meditation past the 30 minutes we spent doing it? What if when we see a beautiful sunset that makes us feel awestruck that we bring those incredible colors and soft light with us to keep us connected to a good feeling. What if, when times are difficult, we can hold ourselves in a safe and cozy space within that can support us, calm and self-regulate our nervous system, and help us to know how best to proceed.

 I often say, it's really about what we're paying attention to. And if we pay attention to the yucky stuff it creates “attention tension”. On the other hand when we pay attention to something that feels good, it's as if we’re plugged into a source of goodness and happiness that can carry us and hold us in peace and gratitude even when the things going on around us are challenging. This is the real benefit of learning how to access our own happy place. 

 And I want to be really clear, I’m not suggesting we ignore responsibility, stick our head in the sand, or live in an imaginary world of rainbows or unicorns. But we can choose, at the very least, to connect to something decent, moment to moment. One of my favorite ways to do it is to say or think to ourselves, “I’m okay”. When we do this our body “hears” our thoughts, and more than that, it sets off a chain reaction in our nervous system that decreases muscle tension, releases positive neuromodulatory hormones and neurotransmitters, calms our nervous system, and in some cases can even stop pain. 

 This is the power of what we’re doing with our attention and it's huge. As human beings we have the option of being conscious, paying attention to what we’re paying attention to, choosing how to respond in a moment in a negative or a positive way. When we do that we gain control, we claim our power, we optimize our human superpowers, and it can make an enormous difference in the way we feel every day and ultimately in the trajectory of our life. 

 True happiness is about simplicity. It’s about gratitude. It's about remembering to pay attention to the positive. Because something incredible happens when we pay attention to the good stuff. Especially the good feelings. When we do something that feels good such as feel the sun shining on us, take a walk in nature, have a big laugh, give or receive a nice hug, it sets off a whole cascade inside us of chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin and a whole bunch of other biochemical processes that can put our body in healing mode. 

 These good feelings, if we allow ourselves to take moments here and there to feel them, is what can create incredible change in our lives, transformation of our being, and deep healing in our body. It’s those good feelings that take us to our happy place because they are inside us. Feeling the good feelings and inner good stuff is what helps us to remember our humanness. They help us to remember who we are. It’s the good feelings that are part of the soul within us, the spiritual connectedness of everything in the universe. The happy place isn't a place, it's a state of being, and it comes from the center of our being. Our happy place can be heaven on earth, like a little paradise inside us. An inner calm in the storm. From that place we can share our goodness, our light, our care for others, and be in the present moment, in more and more moments. The more we do it, the more it happens on autopilot. 

 I’m not saying finding and being in your happy place is easy. But as one person put it, it's about a simple shift. A shift from the outside to the inside. From the yucky feelings to the nice feelings. When we learn to drop in, in a very simple way, we find our center, free ourselves from the outside chatter that confuses us and pulls us outside of ourselves. We can learn to listen to that still small voice within that can help us to know what we want and where we want to go in our lives. 

 Another shortcut method that I’ve recently used to help us make the most of our happy place sounds ridiculously simple yet impossible. But the truth is, it's the breadcrumbs to real mind, body, spirit, wholeness and profound healing. With a bit of practice, this is where real magic happens. My dream is to help as many people as I can to find their happy place to feel good and access healing on many levels. When you really do it and keep doing it, it sets off a chain reaction of real connection, integration, and wholeness. 

 Here’s the simplest way I’ve found to describe the method and the basics of how to do it: 

1) Drop your attention into your body, somewhere in the lower half such as your legs.  

2) Sense something that feels good, such as a softness, warmth, or flow.  

3) Do it all the time. 

 Check it out and see what happens. It really works but it only works if you really do it. And if you need more help or guidance, reach out to me so I can help you find your way to your very own happy place.